When It Feels Like Everyone Is Succeeding But You: How to Overcome Those Moments
Heyyy, BCBA Ruby here!
Ever find yourself scrolling through social media or hearing about your friends' and colleagues' successes and think, “Why isn’t that me?” It’s such a common feeling, especially in a world that seems to thrive on showing highlight reels. You’re out here giving it your all, yet everyone else seems to have everything figured out, while you’re left feeling stuck or like you’re falling behind.
It’s easy to get caught in this trap. It’s hard not to compare yourself when you see others achieving goals you’ve set for yourself. But let me remind you of something important: your journey is uniquely yours. And those feelings of frustration or inadequacy don’t define your future.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re not keeping up with the pace of everyone else, let’s break this down together. Here’s how you can change the story you’re telling yourself and embrace where you’re at right now.
1. Social Media Is Not the Full Picture
It’s so easy to feel like you’re the only one struggling when social media is full of perfect pictures and status updates. But let’s be real: what you see online is a curated version of someone’s life. You’re only getting a glimpse of their highlights, not their struggles.
The truth is, no one’s life is perfect, no matter how polished it looks online. Behind every success, there are countless setbacks and challenges—things you’ll rarely see on your feed. So, while it's tempting to compare, remember that you're seeing a snapshot of someone’s life, not the full story.
2. Success Looks Different for Everyone
We all have our own definition of success. For some, it might mean a promotion, starting a business, or getting recognized for their hard work. For others, it could mean reaching personal milestones or simply maintaining their well-being in the face of challenges.
When you measure your success against others, you're often measuring apples to oranges. What may seem like success to one person may look completely different for you. Your success is personal—and it’s important to define what it means to you and not let society's standards set that definition.
3. Progress Isn’t Always Visible Right Away
Sometimes, you’re making strides forward, but they’re small steps, and they don’t always feel like progress. Maybe you’re learning a new skill, working on self-care, or pushing through a challenging project. It might not show up immediately, but that doesn’t mean you’re not moving forward.
Real progress often happens quietly and behind the scenes. It’s not always about instant results. Trust that your hard work will pay off, even if you can’t see it right away. Celebrate the small victories and remind yourself that progress doesn’t always come in big, noticeable leaps.
4. The Power of Self-Compassion
When you feel like you’re falling behind, the last thing you need is to beat yourself up about it. But sometimes that’s exactly what we do. Instead of practicing self-compassion, we focus on what we don’t have and what we haven't achieved.
It’s okay to not be where you want to be yet. It’s okay to take time to grow and to struggle. Be kind to yourself. Speak to yourself the way you would to a friend—with encouragement, understanding, and support.
5. Success Takes Time: Be Patient With Yourself
Success is not a race—it’s a journey. And we all have our own timelines. Some people might reach their goals faster than others, but that doesn’t mean your path is wrong or slower. You are exactly where you need to be in this moment.
Patience is key. Keep showing up for yourself, keep putting in the work, and trust that your time will come. Your success is not defined by the pace of others, and neither is your worth.
6. Embrace the Struggle as Part of Your Growth
Struggles aren’t signs that you’re failing—they’re opportunities for growth. Every setback is a chance to learn something new, develop resilience, and become stronger. When you feel stuck, remind yourself that this is a chapter in your story, not the whole story.
Every successful person has faced challenges, and those challenges often led to their greatest breakthroughs. So, instead of seeing the struggle as something to avoid, try to see it as an essential part of your growth.
7. Set Your Own Pace and Celebrate Your Wins
It’s easy to get lost in comparison, but the key is to stay true to your own pace. Everyone’s journey looks different, and that’s okay. Instead of obsessing over where others are, focus on what you’ve achieved and what’s next for you.
Celebrate your small wins. Every step forward, no matter how small, deserves recognition. You’re putting in the work, and you’re doing better than you might realize. So, take a moment to acknowledge how far you’ve come, even if it’s just by taking a deep breath and moving forward.
Final Thoughts
Feeling like everyone else is succeeding while you’re stuck can be discouraging. But remember, you are not in competition with anyone but yourself. Stay focused on your own path, define your success on your terms, and trust that you’re moving toward where you need to be.
You’re not falling behind—you’re learning, growing, and becoming. Keep going, one step at a time. Your success is coming.
