What to Do When You Don’t Feel Good Enough as a Parent: You’re Doing More Than You Think

Heyyy, BCBA Ruby here!

Parenting can feel overwhelming, especially when you're trying to balance it all. Whether you're managing your child’s daily routine, advocating for them at school, or providing support for their emotional and social growth, it can sometimes feel like you're just not doing enough.

If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “Am I doing enough for my child?”, you're not alone. It’s a thought that creeps into many parents’ minds, and it’s tough to shake off.

But here’s the thing: You are doing more than enough.

Sometimes, we just need a reminder that parenting is a journey, not a destination. So, if you're feeling like you're falling short or not measuring up, let’s take a closer look at why you might be feeling this way and how we can turn this feeling around.

1. The Pressure to Be Perfect: Why It Doesn’t Exist

We live in a world that often promotes the idea that we have to be perfect at everything—perfect parents, perfect employees, perfect partners. But here’s the truth: perfection doesn’t exist.

When you feel like you're not doing enough, it's usually because you're holding yourself to an impossible standard. It’s easy to compare yourself to others—whether it’s a mom who seems to have it all together, a dad who always knows what to do, or a family that appears to be breezing through life.

But in reality, no one has it all together. We all have our struggles. And what looks perfect on the outside often hides the messy, imperfect moments that everyone experiences behind closed doors.

2. Acknowledge Your Efforts

As parents, you are constantly giving. You’re pouring your time, energy, and love into your family. But sometimes, you might not take a moment to recognize just how much you’re doing. When you’re in the thick of it, it's easy to overlook your efforts.

Take a moment to reflect on the things you've done for your child. Did you attend their therapy session? Did you take the time to listen when they were upset? Did you advocate for them when they needed support? These are small but significant actions that show you are doing everything you can to support their growth.

Even on the days when it feels like you’re not measuring up, you’re still showing up for your child. That’s enough.

3. The Power of Self-Compassion

We’re our own toughest critics, and it’s easy to get trapped in the cycle of self-doubt. But self-compassion is one of the most powerful tools we have to break free from that negativity.

Being kind to yourself doesn’t mean excusing mistakes or giving up on growth. It means acknowledging that you’re human and doing your best. When you slip up or have a tough day, practice self-compassion by reminding yourself that it’s okay to not be perfect, that it’s okay to have setbacks.

Parents are not superheroes—they are human beings doing their best in a challenging world. And you are doing just that. Give yourself grace.

4. Reframe Your Perspective: Focus on Progress, Not Perfection

When you feel like you're not doing enough, it’s easy to get caught up in the small setbacks. But instead of focusing on what you haven’t done, shift your mindset to what you have done.

Is your child making progress in their therapy? Are they learning new skills, even if it’s at a slower pace than expected? Is there a moment in your day where you’ve seen them smile or succeed? These are all wins, no matter how small they seem.

It’s about the little steps that lead to big changes. And if you're moving forward—even just a little—that’s something to be proud of.

5. Asking for Help Is Strength, Not Weakness

It’s okay to ask for help, whether that’s reaching out to a therapist, a family member, a friend, or even a support group. There’s no shame in acknowledging that you can’t do it all on your own.

In fact, asking for help shows great strength. It takes courage to say, “I’m struggling, and I need support.” It’s also important to recognize that you don’t have to walk this journey alone. Support is there when you need it, and it’s okay to lean on others.

6. Embrace Your Unique Parenting Journey

No two parenting journeys are the same. Your experience, your child’s experience, and your family’s experience are unique. And that uniqueness should be celebrated.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is stop comparing your journey to someone else’s. What works for one family may not work for another, and that’s perfectly okay. You are the expert in your child’s life, and you’re doing what’s best for them—your way.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve ever felt like you’re not doing enough as a parent, take a deep breath. You are doing your best, and that’s all anyone—including your child—can ask for. Parenting isn’t about being perfect; it’s about showing up, making progress, and loving your child through it all.

Remember, you are enough. On the good days, the hard days, and everything in between—you are enough. And what you’re doing for your child is making a difference. Keep going, one step at a time. 💖