When Parents Aren't Fully Engaged in ABA Parent Goals: Understanding and Moving Forward

Heyyy, BCBA Ruby here!

Parent involvement is crucial in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA). The goals set for parents during therapy are just as important as the ones set for the child. After all, you’re helping the child develop new skills, but it’s the parents who are the primary caregivers and most consistent figures in their child’s life.

However, as we all know, it’s not always smooth sailing. Sometimes, parents don’t fully engage with or even try the parent goals we’ve worked so hard to set up. This can leave both the BCBA and the parents feeling frustrated or disheartened. But let’s take a step back, understand why this might happen, and explore how we can work through it together.

1. Parents Are Overwhelmed

Let’s face it—being a parent is hard. Especially when you’re managing a child with additional needs, the demands can feel overwhelming. If parents are already juggling work, household responsibilities, appointments, and managing their child’s therapy sessions, adding extra goals on top of that can feel like one more thing on an ever-growing to-do list.

For many parents, it’s not that they don’t care; it’s that they are trying their best to stay afloat and the idea of adding more tasks feels like too much. This doesn’t mean they don’t want to improve or help their child—it just means they need support to balance everything.

2. Lack of Understanding or Clarity

Sometimes, the disconnect happens when parents don’t fully understand the value of the goals you’ve set or the reason behind them. If the goals feel too abstract, hard to understand, or disconnected from the child’s day-to-day life, it can be hard for parents to see how they fit into the bigger picture of therapy.

Without a clear understanding of how parent goals directly influence the child’s progress, parents might not see why these tasks matter or how they can implement them successfully. Parents need a roadmap—something that guides them, explains the process, and makes the purpose clear.

3. Fear of Not Doing It Right

In ABA therapy, we focus a lot on precision and consistency. For some parents, this can be intimidating. They might feel like they have to do things “perfectly” or that they’ll make a mistake that negatively impacts their child’s progress. This fear of “not doing it right” can cause hesitation or avoidance of the parent goals altogether.

It’s essential for us as BCBAs to reassure parents that their efforts don’t have to be perfect. Small steps, consistency, and a positive attitude are enough. Mistakes are part of the learning process, and no one expects perfection.

4. Resistance to Change or Lack of Motivation

Sometimes, parents can be resistant to implementing ABA techniques or strategies in the home. This can happen for a variety of reasons, such as cultural beliefs, lack of familiarity with ABA methods, or simply not understanding the need for change.

In other cases, parents might not be motivated to follow through with the goals because they don’t see immediate results or they feel discouraged by slow progress. When parents don’t feel like the goals are helping in the short term, they might lose motivation to continue trying.

What Can We Do About It?

Now that we’ve looked at some of the reasons why parents might not fully engage with the parent goals we’ve set, let’s talk about how we can address this and move forward with compassion and collaboration.

1. Build a Stronger Relationship and Trust

Building rapport with parents is essential in any therapy program. If parents trust you, they’re more likely to follow through with the goals you’ve set. Take time to listen to their concerns, validate their feelings, and work together to address any roadblocks.

A good relationship also means offering support and guidance—showing parents that you’re there for them as a partner in their child’s progress. Consistently demonstrating empathy and understanding can go a long way in encouraging parent involvement.

2. Simplify and Break Down Goals

Sometimes, it’s helpful to simplify the parent goals and make them more achievable. Rather than giving them a long list of goals, break them down into small, manageable steps. Focus on one or two important goals at a time, and provide parents with clear, actionable instructions on how to implement them.

It might also be beneficial to show parents how they can integrate these goals into their daily routines, rather than treating them like extra tasks. For example, instead of focusing on “reinforcement techniques,” work with parents on how to reinforce behaviors during everyday activities, like mealtime or bath time.

3. Offer Consistent Feedback and Reassurance

Give parents positive reinforcement for their efforts. It’s easy for them to feel discouraged when they’re not seeing immediate progress, but you can provide valuable feedback that highlights the small successes. This will help parents feel encouraged and motivated to continue trying.

Also, reassure them that mistakes are a normal part of the process. Let them know that you’re there to support them, and you’re not expecting perfection. Remind them that consistency is key, and even small, incremental changes can lead to big improvements.

4. Address Resistance with Empathy

If you notice resistance to certain strategies, take time to understand where that resistance is coming from. Is it a lack of understanding, a fear of change, or a cultural difference? Having an open dialogue with parents will help you identify the root cause of their hesitations.

Once you understand the issue, you can work together to find solutions that meet their needs while still adhering to the principles of ABA. Collaboration is key—this is not about forcing parents to do things but about finding a path forward that feels right for both them and their child.

Final Thoughts

Parent involvement in ABA therapy is crucial for long-term success, but it’s important to recognize that every parent has unique challenges and limitations. If a parent isn’t fully engaging with their goals, it’s not necessarily a reflection of their commitment to their child. By offering empathy, clear communication, and tailored support, we can help parents feel empowered and more involved in the process.

As BCBAs, we need to be flexible, patient, and collaborative. Working with parents is a team effort, and when both parties are invested, the results are much more rewarding—for the child, the family, and the entire therapeutic team.