When Family Vacations Feel Out of Reach: Understanding Parental Emotions and Finding Solutions
Heyyy, BCBA Ruby here!
Let’s talk about something that’s on many parents’ minds: family vacations. They’re meant to be a time of bonding, relaxation, and adventure. But for some families, the idea of taking a vacation might feel out of reach—whether due to financial constraints, child’s behavioral needs, or other life challenges.
It’s okay to feel sad about not being able to go on a family vacation. I see it all the time, and I want you to know that your feelings are valid. In this blog post, we’re going to talk about why you might feel this way, and how we can work through these emotions and brainstorm some creative solutions.
1. Feeling Left Out in the Vacation Race
It’s natural to feel left out when you see other families sharing their vacation photos on social media or talking about their latest adventures. Those picturesque family moments seem like they come so easily to everyone else, right? But the reality is, not every family has the same financial or logistical capabilities, and that’s okay.
The social comparison game can get hard sometimes, especially when it feels like everyone else is getting those dream vacations and you’re left trying to make ends meet. The pressure to keep up with everyone’s highlights can sometimes make you feel like you’re missing out on an essential part of family life.
2. Navigating Behavioral or Sensory Challenges
For some families, a vacation isn’t just about the cost; it's about sensory and behavioral challenges that come with travel. Whether your child has autism, ADHD, or another developmental concern, traveling can pose unique obstacles. Airports, hotel rooms, long car rides, and unfamiliar places can be overwhelming for children who rely on structure and predictability.
As a parent, it can be emotionally exhausting to see others go on vacation without having to think about meltdowns, sensory overload, or unexpected changes. If you're worried about your child’s comfort or safety while away, it’s completely understandable that vacationing might feel more like a stressor than a joy.
3. The Financial Strain of Travel
Let’s be real—vacations can be expensive. From flights to hotel stays, meals, activities, and transportation, it’s easy to see how the cost can become overwhelming. If finances are tight, the idea of spending money on a vacation can create stress, guilt, and even sadness.
But here’s the thing: vacation doesn’t have to come with a hefty price tag. Even small getaways or day trips can create meaningful memories, and the experience doesn’t have to be extravagant to be worthwhile.
How to Cope with These Feelings
Feeling sad about not being able to go on a family vacation is normal, but here are a few strategies to help you cope with those emotions and turn the situation around:
1. Validate Your Emotions
The first step is acknowledging your feelings. It’s okay to feel sad or even frustrated. Taking a step back and recognizing that these emotions are part of being a parent will help you avoid guilt. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s something to be proud of!
2. Create Your Own Family “Vacations”
Vacations don’t always have to mean traveling far away. Why not create your own family staycation or mini-adventure at home or nearby? You could turn an afternoon into a “vacation” by having a beach day at a local park, exploring a nearby town, or setting up a camping experience in the backyard.
These small, intentional experiences can feel just as special as a long-distance trip. You’ll be able to bond as a family, make lasting memories, and have fun together—without the stress of travel or breaking the bank.
3. Plan for the Future
While a family vacation might feel out of reach right now, planning ahead can help. Start by setting aside a small amount each month to save for a future trip. Having a plan in place and setting a goal can help you feel more in control and hopeful for the future.
You can also involve your child in the planning process—whether it’s choosing destinations, learning about new places, or finding fun activities. This can make the idea of vacation feel exciting and something to look forward to.
4. Connect with Others Who Understand
Sometimes, connecting with other parents who face similar challenges can be incredibly therapeutic. Whether it’s a support group, online community, or even just talking to a friend who “gets it,” knowing you’re not alone can be comforting.
Hearing about other families' strategies for making vacations work (or how they get creative with staycations) can provide some new ideas and remind you that many parents face the same struggles.
Final Thoughts
It’s natural to feel sad or even discouraged if you’re unable to go on a family vacation right now, but please don’t let that sadness overshadow the amazing memories you’re already creating with your family. Life doesn’t have to look like the ones we see on social media. What matters is your unique journey as a family, and the connections you share along the way.
There’s no perfect formula for a “vacation,” and what works for one family might not work for another. But as parents, we all have the opportunity to create meaningful moments together—even if those moments don’t look exactly like what we see on a magazine cover.
So, take a deep breath, and know that it’s okay to feel how you’re feeling. Your family’s joy doesn’t have to come from a distant location—it can come from within the walls of your home, a nearby park, or wherever you make those beautiful moments together.
