The Silent Struggle: How It Feels When a Parent Isn’t Responding to Your Emails as a BCBA
Heyy, BCBA Ruby here!
As a BCBA, one of the most rewarding parts of the job is working closely with parents to ensure their child gets the best possible care. But sometimes, despite your best efforts to communicate and collaborate, it can feel like you're speaking to a wall. One of the most frustrating experiences is when you’re trying to reach a parent, but they just aren’t responding to your emails.
It’s something that happens from time to time, but when it does, it can stir up a lot of emotions, from confusion to worry to feeling completely defeated. So, if you’re a BCBA who has found yourself waiting for a response to an important email—wondering what went wrong or how to proceed—this blog is for you.
The Feeling of Uncertainty
When a parent isn’t responding to your emails, there’s an overwhelming sense of uncertainty. You may have reached out with an important update, a request for feedback, or a question about their child’s progress. And then, silence.
The silence can feel deafening, and that uncertainty about why they aren’t responding can really mess with your head. Are they just busy? Have they lost interest? Did something go wrong in the therapy session? Did your email come across the wrong way?
As a BCBA, you take your role seriously. You want to maintain open communication with parents, and you know that their involvement is key to the success of therapy. So, when they don’t respond, it can trigger all sorts of self-doubt. Did I miss something? Could I have worded things better? Am I doing enough to involve them in the process?
The Worry for Your Client
Beyond the uncertainty of the situation, there’s often a deeper layer of worry for your client. As a BCBA, your number one priority is the well-being and success of the child you’re working with. And when a parent isn’t responding, it can feel like a barrier to progress.
You may start to wonder if there’s something more going on at home that you’re unaware of, or if the lack of communication is hindering their child’s progress in any way. The worry for your client’s success can sometimes overshadow the frustration of trying to get in touch.
Will they continue the strategies you’ve implemented at home? Are they on board with the current treatment plan? These questions often keep you up at night, especially when you don’t have the answers you need because of the lack of communication.
The Fear of Being Judged
Let’s be real: sometimes, as BCBAs, we’re afraid that non-responses are a form of rejection. We worry that the parent is unhappy with our services or that they don’t think we’re doing a good job. And it’s easy to internalize that fear and feel like we’ve somehow failed them or their child.
But it’s important to remember that just because a parent isn’t responding to your emails doesn’t necessarily mean they are unhappy with your work. Sometimes, life happens—whether it's their busy schedule, personal challenges, or even email overload—that prevents them from responding.
The Frustration of Unanswered Questions
The hardest part about a non-responsive parent is the lack of closure. You may be asking important questions, seeking feedback, or trying to clarify their priorities for their child’s therapy. When you’re met with silence, those questions linger and grow more pressing. You can’t move forward with a plan if you don’t have the answers you need.
As a BCBA, it’s our job to make informed decisions for our clients, and that requires input from everyone involved, including parents. Without that input, you’re stuck in limbo, unable to move the needle forward. And that feeling of being stuck can be incredibly frustrating.
The Hope for Open Communication
While it’s easy to get bogged down in frustration and worry, there’s always hope for better communication. A lack of response doesn’t necessarily mean a parent is uninterested—it could just mean they’re struggling to keep up with their own responsibilities. They may need a gentle reminder, or perhaps a different approach to communication could help facilitate better dialogue.
Here are a few strategies that might help:
Follow up politely: A gentle reminder email or phone call can go a long way.
Offer multiple communication options: Some parents prefer text messages or even direct calls over emails. Be flexible in how you reach out.
Express understanding: Acknowledge that life can be hectic and let them know you’re there when they’re ready to engage.
Ask for feedback: Sometimes opening up the conversation with a simple “How are things going at home?” can break the silence and encourage a more open exchange.
Remember, patience is key, and sometimes it just takes a little more time and persistence to re-establish that open line of communication.
In Conclusion
Dealing with a non-responsive parent can be one of the more challenging aspects of being a BCBA. It can make you feel uncertain, worried, frustrated, and even a little defeated. But instead of internalizing the silence, take a step back, and remember that these things happen. Keep your approach compassionate and persistent, and most importantly, stay focused on your client’s progress.
You are an advocate for your clients and their families, and even if it takes time to break the silence, your efforts are never in vain. Keep reaching out, keep showing up, and keep doing what you do best—changing lives through the work you do.
